Parenting:A Smile or An Ordeal Published on:
05 Oct, 2021
Publishing, Literature, Editing
Parenting: A Smile or an Ordeal Parenting and Teaching are the subjects where no rocket science works .But yes careful, compassionate, thoughtful emotions often work wonders.But we really need to be more watchful of our thoughts to leave an impact because we often relate during processes everything to our own times which causes a blunder.The reason is that there is a huge gap between the times of which we are unaware .Though physically we have moved on ,visibly we have treaded a long way but our minds are struck somwhere in the past with what we faced and the ways we were brought up. The truth is- changing times demand change in the attitude and we often forget that. Being parents means closely watching the construction of a building- brick by brick which needs a lot of patience, perseverance and wisdom. Now remember,here l used the word wisdom and not a well-learned, knowledgeable person. Why? Because I observed this process closely both as a parent as well as a teacher and I know more than knowledge and information it is the bond that we develop with the growing individuals that works efficaciously. I can say that I have experience to watch this process of construction for others building as well as personal building. Now you must be wondering Why I am mentioning these two buildings : Personal and Others? Because when we watch others we are somehow able to be at a distance,we get involved only if asked , consequently,in a very natural manner space or distance is maintained and one day when building is ready, we say Wow! What a construction! Just few days back it was merely a bare structure and today such a Magnificent Palace! On the contrary, when we are watching our own personal building construction,we watch it closely brick by brick and on daily basis we get irritated and often curse the constuctors unknowingly and somewhere tend to ignore their efforts and forget all ethics and then somehow finally when it is ready and someone says "It is a meticulous work ,a master piece! Our reaction is" O! What to say Sir! please, don't ask how much time,money,energy, hardwork it took and what not! And on the way the kind of breathing issues we caused to others because of our impatience and lack of understanding that's again a different issue which we are not even aware of - a huge vicious circle! Similar is the case of our own child rearing and watching others children growing up. Parents and specifically,mothers are and it can be father or some other elderly person in the family as well who are in the habit of comparing and lamenting always for not getting expected results from their children inspite of putting their best . And yes others' children are just wonder pieces, so well -behaved, learned, studious and what not and own children- my God ! No idea when they will learn and grow nicely and be gentlemen?And how much time they will take to succeed and bla !bla ! bla! And in the process we are forgetting that while doing so though we have given a vent out to our own feelings but unknowingly, we are not addressing any issue,not resolving or addressing any problem , nothing fruitful is emerging though we think that we have tightened the screws of our child but on the contrary,what is being done is blockage is being created ,complexes are being raised which are further hampering the growrh and telling the children they are inferiors which is very dangerous sometimes. And if we closely observe the reason of emergence of speaking such things or showing such negative attitudes ,we shall find, it is again in the family, the unnecessary gaps in the minds,not reaching out to eachother's heart instead always imposing our expectations and never trying to touch eachother's intellect.We just tell our expectation and never ask what that child wants and what are his or potential areas ,interests where if we work perhaps they can bring forth excellence that we can't even imagine. And the results are Frustrations,disappointments,fights.
To avoid all this the only way out is pondering over ourselves a little and try to be little closer to children and be their friends to reach happier and harmonious society and give more responsible,thoughtful and capable individuals to the society who can be valuable ,contributive parts of the society.